


Why They Call Him Delirious

by the_one_and_only_trash_queen



Category: Banana Bus Squad, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2018-12-18 21:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11882754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_one_and_only_trash_queen/pseuds/the_one_and_only_trash_queen
Summary: Delirious' friend asks him how he got his nickname and is very surprised at the answer he gets.**Rated explicit because there will be smut!!!**





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just had an idea for a story and started typing it out one day on break at work. Hope it goes over well. :)

               Delirious sat quietly in the corner of the room, his mask over his face, his eyes darting back and forth, to and fro, watching everyone else who was at the party with him. He hadn’t wanted to go out, but his best friend, Cartoonz, had insisted. ‘It’ll be good for you!’ he said with that stupidly convincing smile on his face. How was he supposed to say no to the bearded man who had been there for him through everything? So he had agreed, though he wasn’t about to pretend that he was excited to be here.

               Cartoonz had showed up at his house around eight to pick him up, and when Delirious got into the passenger seat with his mask on, Luke had given him a questioning glance but hadn’t said anything. If that’s what it took for Delirious to be comfortable and actually go out, then Luke wasn’t about to argue. They drove in silence for about half an hour before arriving at Vanoss’ house where the party was being held.

               As they stepped out of the truck and headed into the house, Luke automatically took a protective stance in front of Delirious. He didn’t even have to think twice about it. He was the only one Delirious had even known since before shit had went down. Luke had been there for him through it all and Luke would honestly protect the other man with his life without a second thought.

               So they stayed that way, Luke walking in first as Delirious trailed behind, a hand around the bearded man’s wrist for fear of getting lost in such a scary situation. In retrospect, a house party with some of his YouTube friends didn’t sound so bad, but ever since the incident, Delirious was petrified of any sort of human contact other than with his best friend, Luke. This was actually the first time he had been out since he had gotten back home, so of course he was a little more than nervous.

               Luke had greeted everyone, making sure to shield the smaller man behind him from prying eyes. After making it into the living room, Luke had told Delirious to stay put while he went and got some drinks. Delirious had automatically gravitated towards the corner, where he could best keep an eye out on everyone there. A few of his friends had waved, but none had tried to approach him without Luke there, as no one wanted to frighten him or make him more uncomfortable than he already was… and that’s why he was sitting in the corner by himself right now.

               Just as he was about to get up and head outside, as it seemed way too crowded to even breath in here right now, Luke returned from the kitchen, two red cups in his hands. He walked over to the corner and handed one to Delirious, a stupid grin on his face.

               “What are you smilin’ for?” Delirious eyed the cup and the bearded man suspiciously.

               “Ah, nothing. You don’t gotta worry about a thing. That drink right there will loosen you right up and soon you’ll be havin’ as much fun as the rest of us.” Luke gave the other man’s shoulder a pat. “Take a few sips and then try to mingle with everyone else. I’ll be hangin’ nearby if you need me. I promise you, just relax and you’ll have fun.”

               Delirious nodded hesitantly, tipping his mask up a bit and taking a sip of the strong drink Luke had given him. He crinkled his nose. Boy, was it strong, but maybe Luke was right. This would probably help. Hopefully. Instead of a sip, he took more of a chug of the drink before walking over to Bryce, Ohm, and Moo, determined to try and have some fun and relax.

               He nodded to them as he walked up, Ohm nodding in return, Bryce smiling shyly at him, and Moo giving him a pat on the back. “Hey, Delirious! What’s up, dude?” Moo grinned.

               Delirious shrugged. “Luke made me come to this so I figured I should probably try to chat with some of my friends.” He tapped his fingers nervously on his cup, unaware that he was even doing so.

               “Sounds like Luke. Hey, you know he just wanted you to get out and have some fun, hang out with a couple of your friends. At the last party here…” Moo went off, telling some story about the last time they had all gathered for a party at Vanoss’ house.

               Delirious wasn’t paying any attention, though. His eyes wandered around the room, panic rising in his throat as he realized that he could no longer see Luke within his field of vision. “Excuse me, I need to go use the restroom.” He excused himself, quickly scurrying off towards the last place he had seen his best friend. He didn’t want to call out for the bearded man, as he didn’t want to appear as panicky as he was feeling. He practically jogged down the hall before bursting through the back door and out onto the patio.

               “Jonathan?”

               Delirious looked up, sucking in shallow breaths from his anxiety, letting out a sigh when he saw his best friend. “Luke.” He croaked out.

               “Oh, John, I’m sorry. I came out here for just a moment to have a smoke. You looked like you were having fun with the guys so I figured you wouldn’t miss me for a moment. I’m so sorry, bud. Come over here.” The bearded man patted the ground beside him where he was sitting on the step of the porch.

               Delirious slid his mask off since it was only him and Cartoonz out here and set it down on the table before chugging down the rest of his drink. He sat the cup down on the table as well before sitting down, as close to Cartoonz as he could get. He pulled on his hoodie so it would cover more of his face as he leaned against his best friend with a sigh. “I’m sorry I got scared.” He whispered grabbing one of Luke’s hands in his own.

               “Hey, you’re fine. You have no need to apologize for anything. I should’ve let you know I would be out here.” He held the cigarette box of cigarettes out for Delirious who gladly took one. Cartoonz lit it for him.

               Delirious held the cigarette up to his lips for a few moments, sucked in, and then blew out the air. “Ah, that’s better.” Having a smoke with his bud always calmed his nerves. “Thank you.” He glanced at his best friend, a sincere smile on his face.

               “Anything for you, John. You know that.” And with that, Cartoonz leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to Delirious’ forehead.

               Delirious shut his eyes and leaned towards the comforting and reassuring touch. “Thank you.” He repeated. He felt like he could never say it enough, like it might take his entire lifetime to show the bearded man just how thankful he felt to have him in his life.

               “Hey, don’t look now, but I think your crush is heading out here.” Luke drawled, his breath hot on Delirious’ face. He laughed when he saw a light blush fall across John’s cheeks.

               “But—But I don’t have my mask!” Delirious felt panic rise in his chest again. The only one of his friends who had ever seen him without his mask was Luke, and he wasn’t quite sure he was ready to show the rest of them his face yet; especially his crush.

               “Relax, bud. You’re gorgeous. Also, a little birdy told me that he might feel the same way about you that you feel about him.” Cartoonz grinned, pushing himself up so that he was standing and letting go of Delirious’ hand. He threw his cigarette on the patio and stomped it out. “This is my cue to leave. Just relax and be yourself. If he doesn’t fall for that, then he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Cartoonz walked towards the door, holding it open for the other man as he walked outside. “Hey, great party, see ya around man.” He nodded as he walked inside.

               Delirious stood completely still, frozen in place with the fear of his face being seen.

               He heard the door shut behind him and the footsteps come to a stop.

               “Delirious?”

               He knew that voice anywhere. His other best friend, who also just so happened to be his major crush right now. Vanoss.

               Delirious sucked in a breath as he turned around and dropped his hood from covering his face. “Hi, Evan.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanoss gets to see Delirious without his mask for the first time, and they get to have some bro bonding time. But that bro bonding time might lead to some deep discussion, or maybe even some unpleasant memory.

               “John…” Evan almost gasped, his eyes growing wide at finally seeing the other youtuber’s face. He had always dreamed of it happening, but he never thought it would happen this soon, and to top it all off, at his own party. It was almost like a gift of sorts.

               He took his time to study Delirious’ face, take in every single detail that he could, just in case he didn’t get to see it again for a long time. He was sure that was what was going to happen, considering he had just kind of butted in on Delirious and Cartoonz. He was sure that the masked gamer would be upset that Evan saw his face without his mask. John had short, dark hair, the prettiest blue eyes, what appeared to be dimples if he would smile, and black studs in his ears. He was drop dead gorgeous. As Evan stared at him, he noticed the blush growing deeper on Delirious’ face. It caused his stomach to flip and he quickly looked down at his feet as a smile threatened to break out on his face.

               “Evan, come on. Say something, please. You’re making me nervous.” Delirious forced a laugh and a smile, all the while tapping his foot anxiously.

               “Del, you’re gorgeous. No wonder you keep your face hidden. It’s not fair to everyone else.” Evan laughed. A huge grin spread across his face as he closed the gap between him and John and wrapped him in a tight hug.

               Delirious wriggled a bit in his arms, finally giving in and burying his face in Evan’s shoulder. It was nice to finally be able to be himself around his other best friend. He breathed in deep, the intoxicating scent of Evan filling his mind and body. He wished he could just stay here forever.

               Just as he thought that, Evan pulled back, releasing his grip on the other man. “I know it seems really shallow to say this, but it’s nice to finally see your face.” Evan smiled sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand.

               “Sorry I haven’t done it sooner, I was just scared… I dunno, thought you might think I’m ugly or something. Didn’t want you to stop playing games with me.” Delirious looked down at ground, sure that his blush would only get worse if he kept up the eye contact with his friend, who was also his crush, who had called him gorgeous. Oh my god. He couldn’t wait to tell Luke.

               “Of course not, silly! You’re my best friend!” Evan patted him on the shoulder with a laugh. “I assume you’re out here ‘cause the party’s making you nervous, huh?”

               Delirious nodded a bit, keeping his eyes on the ground.

               “What do you say we head up to my room and play some video games? No one will even notice we’re gone, and if they do come to look for us, we’ll say screw ‘em. Have some good ol’ real life bff bonding time for a change instead of only hanging online.” Vanoss offered a hand out to him, smiling.

               “Uh, yeah. That sounds like fun. Lemme just…” Delirious grabbed his mask and slipped it back on over his face before pulling his hood up. He dropped his cigarette to the ground, stomped it, and then grabbed Evan’s hand, butterflies immediately freaking out in his stomach. He was holding Evan’s hand! It was like a dream come true or something. He just hoped Evan couldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating or tell just how much he was freaking out about this.

                Evan led him back into the house, practically dragging him along. Delirious briefly caught Cartoonz’ gaze, who must’ve been waiting for him at the end of the hallway, and gave him a thumbs up. He could see that Cartoonz laughed by the way his body shook even though he couldn’t hear it. He then received a thumbs up in return.

                Evan quickly ascended the stairs, causing Delirious to have to rush to keep up with him. He opened the first door on the left in the hallway and let go of Delirious’ hand. He stepped aside and bowed as he gestured inside. “Casa de Vanoss.. or however you say room in Spanish.” He grinned, tilting his head.

                Man, he was adorable. Delirious was shocked at how much more he seemed to fall for him every second they were together.

                “Ladies first.” Evan winked.

                “Oh, shut it.” Delirious snorted, giving him a playful shove before entering the room and immediately taking his mask off again. He sat it down on the entertainment center beside the tv before plopping down on Evan’s bed. “Come on dude! Get us some games going!” Delirious grinned. It was amazing how the change of pace from being at the party to just being with Evan changed him. If he pretended that they were just hanging out like they did in a skype call after recording sessions, then this was much less nerve-wracking. Like Luke had said, ‘Relax, bud.’ That’s what he planned on doing. If he just put aside his feelings for the other man and focused more on the fact that he was hanging out with his best friend, the anxiety seemed to lessen. The drink he had had was also probably starting to help take the edge off.

                Speaking of drinks, he had just snapped back to reality to realize that Evan was pointing to a mini fridge in the corner of his room, telling him to grab what was inside. Delirious nodded, quickly going over to pull out a couple of beers.

               “A couple of video games, a couple of beers, and a couple of best friends, am I right?” Evan held a controller out to Delirious, a stupidly adorable smile on his face.

               Delirious took the controller and gave him a beer in return. He sat on the end of the bed, Evan sitting down ridiculously close beside him, causing him to startle a bit. He glanced over with his eyebrows raised, and Evan just grinned.

               “Dude, I put GTA in for us. Get ready for some fun!”

               They had to make Delirious a character, but once they did, they played for who in the world knows how long. They ended up drinking more beers than they meant to, losing count after the first couple.

               Delirious stood up after having called a break, and slid his hoodie off, revealing the slightly too tight white t-shirt underneath. “It’s hot in here. Maybe it’s the beer. Or how much I’m whooping your ass.” He smirked, throwing his hoodie over the chair at Evan’s computer desk. He then proceeded the fall backwards onto Evan’s bed, sighing as he stared up at the ceiling.

               Evan couldn’t tell what came over him, but he caught himself glancing down where he noticed that Delirious’ shirt had ridden up and exposed part of his lower belly. He allowed himself to admire it for a brief second before forcing himself to look up at Delirious’ face. “Uhm, hey Del?” He asked, the hesitation in his voice clearly noticeable.

               “Yeah, Ev?” Delirious glanced over at him lazily.

               “Why, uh… why do you call yourself Delirious?” Evan asked, quickly looking away nervously. He wasn’t sure how the other youtuber would take his question, but he had said it before even really thinking about what the consequences might be. All the others in the group had explained where they had gotten their names at at one point or another, but Delirious had never told his story, and Evan wanted to know. In fact, one time when they had brought it up, Delirious had left the call and then hadn't played with them for two days, and when he returned, he had just acted like it never happened.

               “It’s kind of a long story. Do you wanna hear it? I’ll tell you if you wanna know.” Delirious answered in a cool, calm voice.

               Honestly, it was the exact opposite reaction of what Evan had expected. “Uh, well, yeah, if you don’t mind telling me…” He trailed off, taking another sip of his beer.

               Delirious slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, grabbing his beer off of the bedside table. “Well…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any grammar mistakes or some things don't flow as well as they should, it's cause I've been writing late at night after a couple busy days, so I apologize in advance. Hope you enjoyed! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delirious tells Evan the story of how he got his youtube name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Very sad Del :( I'm sorry Del I love you <3 :'(

               “So, one time, I was very in love with this boy. His name was Michael. I’m pretty sure we were soulmates, actually. Well, anyways, we had spent the whole day at the zoo. Michael loved the animals. It was so amazing to watch his face light up every time he looked at one. He took so many pictures of them, his plan was to make a book of all the animal pictures he had taken at all the zoos he’d been too since he was little. He wouldn’t stop talking about it.” Delirious paused to laugh for a moment. “So, we were going to drive to the store near our house and get the pictures developed before heading home.”

               “Wait,” Evan interrupted, unable to help himself, “You guys lived together?”

               “Yeah. Like I said, we were soulmates. We were gonna get married, Ev. Live together forever. That stuff.” Delirious sighed, shaking his head. He paused for a moment before recollecting his thoughts.

               “So, we were heading to the nearby store to get the pictures developed. Well, we’re just singing along to some songs on the radio, and we start going up this hill. It’s dark, mind you. All of the sudden, as we get to the top of the hill, there’s a car in our lane, headed right towards us. Michael screams, and I veer to the right to avoid hitting this car head on. Well, the car ends up clipping my side of the car, knocking me unconscious. Next thing I know, I wake up upside down in the burning car. God knows where we ended up. We probably went over the side of the hill. I glance over and…” Delirious’ eyes widened, like he was reliving the image. He swallowed hard, tears starting to form in his eyes as he continued.

               “Michael’s covered in blood. His eyes are shut. He’s got cuts and shit everywhere, all over him. I reach over to shake him, I’m repeating his name, over and over like it might wake him up. No response from him. So I decide I gotta get him out of the car. I quickly looked for my phone, but couldn’t find it. We’re by some houses though, so I hope one of them calls for an ambulance. So, the car’s upside down and burning, the door’s all screwed up, and I end up crawling out through the broken window, cutting myself all up, but there’s so much going on that I don’t even notice.” Delirious paused again. He sucked in a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Tears fall from his eyes.

               Evan reached over and grabbed his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

               Delirous gave him a thankful, sad smile in return before continuing. “So I run to the other side of the car. I’m not really that injured. Just some scrapes, I think I had a broken rib, hell if I remember. I get Michael’s door open and try to pull on him to get him out. He groans and opens his eyes. The look in his eyes when he looked at me…” Delirious shook, as if it was just way too much for him to remember.

               Evan scooted closer to him, trying to reassure him.

               “And—and as I’m trying to pull him out, I realize that he’s trapped from the waist down. I can’t get him out. He’s crushed and I can’t help him. So all I can do is… sit by him and hold his hand and… and listen as the fire roars, but I can’t leave his side, I’d rather die with him than leave. And…” Delirious shook, letting out a sob as his entire body leaned in on itself.

               Evan quickly scooted as close as he could and wrapped his arms around Delirious. He patted the man’s back, cooing softly to him to try and calm him. “Hey, Del, sh. I’m here.” He whispered, setting his chin on top of Delirious’ head. He felt like if he could just enclose Delirious in a big hug then he could protect him from the awful memories.

               “I sat with him and watched him die.” Delirious whined, cuddling closer to Evan for comfort. “The paramedics showed up and they tried to take me away from him, but I wasn’t going anywhere without him. They gave me some shot, probably a sedative, then they took me away from him when I was too far gone to react.” Delirious shook his head angrily, screaming into Evan’s chest.

               Evan clutched at him tighter. He hated seeing Delirious like this. He wished he wouldn’t have even asked the stupid question in the first place. Damn his curiosity.

               Delirious turned his head to the side to suck in some air before continuing on. “When I woke up two days later, I asked about him right away. Everyone ignored me. They wouldn’t answer me. I knew he was dead, but I was holding on to whatever hope I could that he’d still be alive. Maybe it’s how I was keeping myself alive and fighting. I didn’t know what I’d do without him, so I simply pretended like he was still alive. Like there was a chance he could still be alive. Two more days went by before a nurse told me that she was so sorry for my loss. She sat on the bed and held my hand and cried. I just sat there. Emotionless. If I pretended like she was lying, then I would be okay. He would be okay. She shook her head, and even walked me to his body which they were getting ready to send back to his family for his funeral, to convince me that he was dead. Maybe she thought it would help me along the grieving process if I saw him. Maybe I’d get closure. I stood over him and just stared. They had cleaned him up and stitched up his wounds so he could have an open casket, I’m assuming. He looked so peaceful. So serene, like he was sleeping almost…” Delirious trailed off, pushing away from Evan a bit to wipe at his eyes. He had calmed down a lot and was no longer sobbing.

               Evan kept ahold of his one hand. He felt like Delirious might fall apart if he let go of it, so he just didn’t let go.

               Delirious was silent for a few minutes before looking at Evan. “But I freaked out. Flipped a nut. Security had to come in to restrain me while they gave me another sedative. Then they shipped me off. I ended up in a nut house. A simple white room, just like they show in the movies. I lost it. I couldn’t function. I stopped eating and drinking. I didn’t take care of myself. No one could talk me out of it. I went delirious out of my mind. When I got out of the crazy hospital, I decided to start my Youtube channel as a way of trying to cope. I wanted to forever remember Michael, even all the bad shit I went through when I lost him, so I named my channel H20Delirious. The H20 came from my love of water. Delirious from… well, going absolutely insane when I lost Michael. Sometimes I still feel like I might slip back and have to be sent off to the hospital again, but Youtube and you guys really help keep my mind occupied.” Delirious  tiredly smiled, sniffling and wiping at his eyes some more. “That’s the story of how I got my name.” He glanced down at his lap, a sad, lost look in his eyes.

               “Del…” Evan patted the bed. “Lay down with me.”

               Delirious nodded, curling into Evan’s hold as they laid down and Evan wrapped his arms around him. He buried his face in Evan’s shirt, breathing in the comforting smell of his friend.

               Evan held him tight, rubbing his back reassuringly. “I’m sorry, Del.” He whispered. “You’re so kind and such a beautiful person and I’d do anything so that you didn’t have to go through that. And if I couldn’t prevent it from happening, I’d give anything to have been your friend at the time so I could’ve been there for you. But I’m here for you now, and I always will be, okay? You’re my best friend and I’m so thankful for you. Love you, Del.” He pressed a kiss to the top of the other man’s head, who had fallen asleep in Evan’s arms. Evan shut his eyes to take a rest as well, but never once loosened his grip on John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I apologize if there are any grammar errors such as the wrong tense, but trying to write the flashback story in one tense and the actual story in another tense was hard to keep up with xD I read through it and I don't think there are any, but I very well could've missed some, so I apologize if there are any!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delirious is on the edge of losing it again, while Luke and Evan have a falling out over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING THERE ARE SELF-HARM/SUICIDE MENTIONS IN THIS CHAPTER***
> 
> Sorry in advance for the long chapter, I just got carried away! And it's not necessarily long, but it's longer than my other chapters so you know lol xD

               Just as Evan had dozed off, he heard a knock at the door. He turned his head to bury it in Delirious’ hair with a soft groan. If he ignored the knock, the person would surely go away, right?

               Wrong.

               Luke slowly opened the door and peeked inside, grinning as soon as he spotted the two cuddling. “Evannnn…” He whispered in a sing-song voice.

               Evan turned his head to look towards Luke. “Whadya want?” He mumbled sleepily.

               “It’s real late. I need to take Del home.” Luke walked over to give Delirious a gentle shake. “Hey, Del. It’s Luke. Let’s head home, alright?”

               Delirious yawned and opened his eyes, his face lighting up at the sight of Luke. He slowly sat up and held a hand out towards him.

               “Alright, Del. Let’s get your jacket back on and take you back home.” Luke helped put his jacket back on his body so that he wouldn’t get cold when they headed out into the chilly night. He took Delirious’ hand and started to lead him out of the room. “Bye, Evan.” He waved.

               “Bye, Evan.” Delirious echoed, yawning again. His cheeks were flushed pink and Evan couldn’t quite get over how adorable he looked.

               “Bye guys.” Evan watched them go from where he sat on the bed. He glanced at his phone. Two in the morning. Damn. Luke was right. It was really late. He got up and stretched out before heading downstairs to check and make sure that all of his guests had either left or found somewhere to crash for the night.

               After quickly taking a rollcall of everyone who had been at the party and satisfied with the results that everyone was either home safe or safe in his home, Evan headed back to his room to go back to sleep, but it wasn’t quite the same without the warmth of Delirious in his arms.

               Meanwhile, Luke drove a sleepy Delirious back to his house. Whenever they got there, Luke practically drug the other man into his bedroom. “Alright, Del, you’re home bud.” He whispered as he helped take Delirious’ hoodie back off. “Goodnight, Del. Love you.” Luke smiled, leaning down to kiss Delirious’ forehead. He turned to head towards the door to leave when he heard his name.

               “Luke. Wait. Can you stay here tonight? I don’t wanna be by myself.” Delirious mumbled sleepily.

               “Of course.” Luke returned the bed, crawling in beside his best friend. “Night, Del.”

               Delirious immediately curled in by Luke’s side, yawning. “Thank you. Night, Luke.”

               Cartoonz rolled onto his side and laid an arm over Delirious. As tired as they were from their long night, it wasn’t long before both had drifted off to sleep.

               The next morning, Delirious awoke in a panic with tears streaming down his face. He quickly got up out of the bed and stumbled to the kitchen, where he was sure he would find Cartoonz. The man always woke up first when he slept over and always made them breakfast.

               Luke turned towards the doorway to the kitchen when he heard footsteps approaching. “Hey, John dear, I’m making us pancakes and—Oh god, John, come here.” Luke dropped what he was doing to rush over to his friend and wrap him in a tight hug. “Bud, what’s wrong?”

               Delirious shook with a sob, hiding his face in Luke’s shirt.

               “Hey, sh, I’ve got you now. You’re safe. Just tell me what’s wrong.” Luke rubbed at his back reassuringly and continued pressing kisses into his hair.

               Delirious shook his head.

               “Can you talk to me, bud? I can’t really help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.” Luke tried again.

               Again, Delirious shook his head.

               Luke found this very odd. John always talked to him, especially when stuff like this happened. He assumed that his friend had had a nightmare due to the amount of times it had happened before. Delirious always told him about what he had dreamed and it always helped him feel better when he got it off of his chest. He wondered why he couldn’t get Delirious to talk about it this time. He figured that maybe the man needed some time before he came around to the idea of talking, so he just held him and tried to support him the best he could that way.

               After Delirious had calmed down and was no longer crying, Luke led him to a seat at the table. “I’ll get you some breakfast. You hungry?”

Delirious shook his head.

               “But.. I made your favorite. Pancakes with chocolate chips in them. The second batch got a little bit burnt cuz I forgot about ‘em cuz you’re more important, but… there’s three here and I can make more for myself.” Luke tried. Surely Delirious couldn’t turn down his favorite breakfast.

               But he turned it down again, got up from the table, and returned to his room without a word.

               Luke followed after him, a worried look on his face. “Del, Del! Come on! Talk to me! Let me help you!” He yelled after him.

               The door to Delirious’ room slammed and Luke heard the lock.

               “Shit.” This could only mean one thing and it wasn’t good. The amount of times they had went through this same thing after the whole incident… He couldn’t lose Delirious to this again. He had to help him.

               He knocked at the door a few times. “Del, open up, please. Let me hold you. You can vent to me, cry, punch me, whatever you need to feel better, just let me in. Please. Let me help you.”

               Silence on the other side of the door.

               “Del, I know what you’re doing. You don’t have to do this. Come out here and yell at me, punch me, take it out on me. Not yourself. Come on, bud.” Luke begged, banging on the door a few more times.

               A few moments later, Delirious opened up the door.

               Luke’s heart jumped into his throat at the site of the long, bleeding cut down his friend’s arm. He quickly took his shirt off to wrap it around Delirious’ arm and hold it there tightly as tears filled his eyes. “Del, come on. We gotta go get you stitched up, okay? Then we can come home and play videogames, or watch a movie, or eat icecream and cuddle… Whatever you want, okay?” His voice rose in worry as he rushed Delirious out to his truck and into the passenger seat. “Hold that tight to your arm, alright?” Luke hands were shaking as he climbed into the truck and tore off down the road towards the hospital, not caring that he was speeding. John needed to get to a hospital soon. The cut had looked deep. He glanced over at his friend who was staring forward, completely emotionless. He looked back at the road and frowned. What in the world could’ve caused this?

               After a few silent minutes where Luke did nothing but drive and blame himself for this in the back of his head, they arrived at the hospital. He whipped into a parking spot and quickly got Delirious out and rushed into the hospital.

               At the sight of them and Luke’s frantic yelling, nurses appeared and took Delirious away, leaving Cartoonz alone in the waiting room. He paced and paced before realizing what the problem had to be. Evan. Delirious had been fine for almost a month now and the only thing different that they had done was go to that party, where Delirious had spent the majority of his time with Evan. Evan must’ve brought something up or said something or… Luke pulled his phone out of his pocket and angrily punched the numbers into his phone before bringing it to his ear.

               “Hello?” The voice that answered sounded confused. Luke’s phone call must’ve woken him up.

               “What the hell did you do to him?! Did you say something to him? You dumb son of a bitch if I get my hands on you…” Luke growled, his entire body shaking in anger.

               “Wait, what? What did I say to who?” Evan was beyond confused at this point.

               “Delirious! He was fine for so long and then you and him hung out and he tried to fucking kill himself this morning!” Luke hissed. His face had turned red from being so mad and upset.

               “What? Oh my god, is he okay? Where is he? I’m coming to see him. You’re at the hospital right?” Evan sounded panicked.

               “You’re goddamn right he’s at the hospital! If you show up here I’m gonna—” The line cut off. Evan hung up. Of course. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked up as a nurse walked towards him.

               “Sir, you’re here with the suicide attempt?” She asked. Her voice seemed kind, but Luke was too mad to care about being nice right now.

               “You mean John? He has a goddamn name. Yes, I’m here with him.” Luke frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

               “Come with me. He’s stable, but upset. A friendly face will probably do him well.” She smiled. She dealt with this stuff all the time and knew not to take it personally.

               Luke huffed, but followed after her. He needed to see Delirious, just to see that he was okay.

               The nurse led him to a room where Delirious was laying on a bed, hooked up to some machines. He stared out the window. Luke went over to him and quickly began to pepper him with kisses. “Hey, Del, I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you.” He sat down on the bed next to the other man who didn’t even acknowledge him. “Hey, I know what’ll make you feel better. I’ll go see if the gift shop has a teddy bear, how about that?” At that, Delirious actually turned towards him, but still didn’t answer. “I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll be right back, bud. I’ll grab you a snack, too, since you didn’t eat earlier.” Luke hopped up off the bed and left the room quickly, determined to grab a teddy bear and some snacks and hurry back to the room so Delirious wouldn’t have to be without him for too long. Just as he rounded the corner to go towards the gift shop, he ran straight into Evan.

               “Get the hell out!” Luke pushed him, immediately getting angry at the other for even showing up after he was told not to. “This is your fault! As Delirious’ caretaker, I’m telling you that you’re not allowed to see him. That’s that.”

               “I came here to see him so I’m seeing him.” Evan stood his ground, though it was frightening when the other man looked so angry and ready to punch him or even worse.

               “If you see him he’ll probably try to hurt himself again! This was your damn fault in the first place!” Luke balled his hands into fists at his sides.

               “You can’t make the decision for him. He’s an adult. If I go in there and he tells me to leave, then I’ll go. I just have to see him. Please.” Evan met his gaze and held it, willing the other man to have some compassion.

               “Fine. But I’m watching your every move in there, and if I think you’re a threat to his safety in any way, I’m making you leave, willingly or unwillingly.” Luke glared.

               Evan nodded, knowing that he meant business. “Okay, lead the way.”

               Luke led Evan right back the way he had come to Delirious room, keeping an eye on him the whole time. 

               Evan ignored Luke and sucked in a deep breath, afraid of losing control of his emotions at the sight of Delirious. Hopefully, for Delirious’ sake, he’d be able to hold it together, but just the thought of seeing his friend in the hospital after he had tried to kill himself made his stomach clench and his eyes start to water. He clenched his hand into a fist at his side and opened the door, unsure of what he should expect to find on the other side, but he was going to be brave and face it, for Delirious’ sake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I had only a slight idea of where this chapter was going to go. So I sat down and started to write this mess of Delirious' life with a mess in my own head. What better way to write? xD Anyways, I feel bad for making Del's life so awful, but it'll get better eventually, I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke finds out what set Delirious off and does everything in his power to keep his friend from being sent away. (With Evan's help, of course) Also, we find out how Evan feels about Delirious' crush on him! :O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Del are very bromance-y cuz I ship them hardcore too ;) But this is an H20/Vanoss story so I'll fit in Luke/Del anywhere that I can and however I can

               At the first sight of his friend, Evan’s heart dropped. Delirious stared towards him, but there was an empty look in his eyes, almost as if he was looking past Evan and at something else, but there was nothing else to look at but the door. Evan rushed over to him, immediately taking Delirious’ hand in his. “Hey, John. I came to see you as soon as I heard. I’m really sorry if it’s my fault that you did this…” Evan trailed off, sniffling and wiping at his eyes with his free hand. He couldn’t keep it together, not with Delirious like this.

               Delirious shook his head in response.

               Luke hurried over. “Evan… talk to him again. He wouldn’t even acknowledge me.”

               “Okay… Del, are you okay?” Evan tried.

               Delirious responded by shaking his head once more.

               “Oh. I’m sorry. Is there any way I can help you?” Evan knew there was a very slight chance that Delirious would say yes, but he had to know, because if there was any way for him to make this better, he’d do it, no matter what.

               Delirious shook his head.

               “Oh… Well, I’m here for you, and so is Luke. We love you so much, Del, and we’d do anything for you, okay?” Evan squeezed his hand gently.

               Delirious squeezed his hand in return before turning his attention back to the window.

               “I’ll be damned. ‘M sorry I doubted you, Evan. Sorry I blamed you, too. Del must’ve just had a bad dream or something that brought this up. Will you stay with him while I go get him some food? He’d probably like it if you stuck around.” Luke stuck his hands in his pockets. He was a little embarrassed that he had falsely accused Evan when clearly Evan was making Delirious feel better when he couldn’t.

               “Of course I will.” Evan gave Luke a smile, trying to show that he wasn’t upset with the bearded man without having to outright say it.

               Luke nodded quickly before heading back out of the room. He figured it would probably do Delirious good to have some alone time with Evan. Maybe he’d talk to Evan if Luke wasn’t in the room. Luke shook off the jealous feeling he got when he thought of that. He had to think of what was best for Delirious right now, even if what’s best for him hurt Luke’s feelings a bit. He’d stop at the gift shop to get a teddy bear for Delirious and grab some snacks from the vending machine nearby, but he was going to take his time to make sure that if Delirious was talking to Evan, he got to tell him everything before Luke returned.

               Evan sat on the edge of Delirious’ bed, stroking the back of his hand. He stared out the window with him. He wished Delirious could tell him what was wrong so that he could do anything in his power to fix it. He wished he could’ve been there for him this morning. He wished that nothing bad would’ve ever happened to the poor guy. He wished—

               “Ev?”

               Evan turned his head to meet Delirious’ gaze. “Yeah?”

               “They’re gonna send me away again.” Delirious looked down at their hands. “You gotta promise me you’ll keep an eye on Luke. He got real upset last time and stopped taking care of himself. And if you could put something up on my channel that I’m taking a break for the time being, I’d appreciate it. Oh, and make sure Luke knows not to tell my mom. She only came last time to pretend like she cares, but she doesn’t.”

               “Del, sh. We’ll take turns staying with you and maybe you can go talk to someone then maybe you won’t have to go away. If we watch you then you can stay here… I think.” Evan tried, his throat swelling shut at the thought of losing his best friend. Not that he’d lose him, but if Delirious was sent away, he was sure that they’d have limited contact if any at all. He wouldn’t be able to be there for him, either, if they sent him away. But he was determined to do everything in his power to keep Delirious here, and he was sure Luke would do the same.

               Just then, Luke came back into the room, a bag filled with snacks in one hand and a teddy bear in the other. “Hey, bud, I got you some snacks and a new teddy bear!” He smiled, walking over to give the bear to Delirious.

               Delirious grabbed it and hugged it close, an actual smile on his face, the first one Luke had seen on him all day.

               “I knew you’d like him. He seemed like he’d get along well with the teddy I got you last time you had the flu. He seemed pretty excited to meet his new teddy friends when you and him get home. Oh, and here’s some snacks in case you’re hungry and don’t want the icky food the hospital gives you.” Luke sat the bag of snacks on the table beside Delirious’ bed.

               Delirious reached a hand out and Luke gave him a hug, Delirious snuggling in close to the bearded man. “Thank you.” He whispered in his ear.

               As Luke pulled away and took a step back from the bed, he glanced over at Evan. “Hey, Del, I’m gonna go get some coffee ‘cause I haven’t had any yet today. Evan, care to join me?”

               “Uh, yeah, sure.” Evan stood up, waiting for Luke to lead the way.

               “We’ll be right back, Del. Teddy already told me he’d keep you company.” Luke flashed a smile at his best friend.

               Delirious nodded, his new teddy clutched tightly to his chest.

               Luke left the room and headed down the hall to the cafeteria so quickly that Evan struggled to keep up without jogging. “Evan, did he say anything to you when I left?”

               “He said they’re gonna send him away again. Is that true?” Evan stopped walking and looked up at Luke, wringing his hands together anxiously.

               “I’m gonna try to get them to send him home with me, but if another episode happens, yeah, they’ll send him away again.” Luke sighed. “But I promise I’m gonna do everything in my power to keep him with us. It’s better for him to be with people he trusts and knows, so we have that going for us, but he’ll be around things that he can use to hurt himself. But if he went to that place… they’d put him in a room where he wouldn’t have access to anything to hurt himself, but he’d also have to take time to warm up to the doctors, so… I guess we’ll see. I’ll let you know when they tell me what’s happenin’. You want coffee?” Luke glanced back at him, giving him a reassuring smile. He meant it when he said he’d do everything in his power to keep Delirious around and he wanted Evan to believe that.

               “Uh, sure. I could probably use it.” Evan rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m pretty tired.”

               “You and Del had fun last night, huh? He told me you guys played GTA.” Luke attempted to make conversation and also dig a little into what might’ve upset Delirious while he poured his coffee.

               “Yeah, we did. We drank quite a few beers, too. Oh, and Del told me about Michael.” Evan replied while waiting for his turn to get coffee.

               Luke dropped his cup, spilling the coffee all over the floor. “Del told you about Michael??” He looked at Evan with wide eyes.

               “Yeah. He told me about the crash.” Evan looked down, feeling almost like he was in trouble for knowing this.

               “Shit. That’s why he was so upset this morning. He must’ve dreamed about it again. You finish grabbing us coffee. No cream or sugar for me. I gotta go talk to Del.” Luke hurried off, leaving Evan standing by a puddle of spilled coffee on the floor with a half full cup of coffee in his hand and a lost look on his face. “Yeah, okay…” He sighed as he grabbed some napkins to clean up the floor.

               Luke hurried back into Delirious’ room, stopping at the door when he heard a quiet voice inside. He peeked into the room, seeing Delirious talking quietly to himself. He couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, though, so he walked in, clearing his throat to make his presence known. “Del, hey, did you have that bad dream again this morning? Is that what had you so upset?” He walked over to sit on the bed at Delirious’ feet.

               “Yeah, the one about Michael. The one where I could’ve saved him, but I didn’t, and he died and it was my fault.” Delirious’ eyes started to water and he brought his hand to the bandage on his arm that was covering the cut from this morning. “And all I wanted to do this morning was to go and be with him and tell him that I’m sorry that I didn’t save him.”

               “Awh, John, listen, bud, it’s not your fault that he died, you know. You couldn’t have prevented it and I’m sure he knows that. He’s probably watching over you right now saying that it’s not your time yet, and that your silly ol’ friends down here like me need you still. It’s not your fault, bud. You can’t blame yourself for it or it’ll never get better.” Luke grabbed Delirious’ wrist and leaned down to kiss the bandage. “I promise you it’s not your fault, and that Michael doesn’t blame you for what happened. He still loves you, just like me and Evan do. We’re here for you, and I’m sure Michael’s cheering you on from where he is. We all love you so much, John.”

               Delirious crawled to sit close to Luke, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Don’t let them send me away. _Please._ I need you and Evan. I can’t be there without you two.” He whispered in Luke’s ear as he hugged him. “If they send me away I won’t be able to stop myself next time.”

               Luke shivered at Delirious’ words. “I promise you I’ll keep you with me. I won’t let them send you away.” He hugged Delirious a bit tighter. “I promise.” He repeated.

               Evan walked back in the room, two cups of coffee in his hands. He had stayed back because he didn’t want to interrupt Luke and Delirious so he had lingered around the cafeteria for a while before he started receiving weird looks and decided he needed to leave. “Hey, I got your coffee, Luke. I also cleaned up after you.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

               Luke stood up off the bed and Delirious crawled back under his sheets with his teddy. “Thanks, Evan. Sorry about that.” Luke offered him a smile and grabbed his coffee. “Evan, you stay with Del. I’ll be right back. I gotta go talk to someone.” He waved as he walked out of the room without waiting for an answer.

               Evan sat down on the chair by Delirious’ bed and held his hand as they sat in silence, Delirious staring out the window while Evan drinks his coffee and stares at Delirious. They sat like this for almost twenty minutes before Luke returned, a big smile on his face.

               “Hey, Del. They’re letting you go back home as long as one of us is always with you. It’ll be like an extended sleepover. How fun is that?” Luke grinned.

               “I don’t have to go away?” Delirious’ face lit up.

               “No you don’t. They said you can go home after the doctor comes to check up on you, which’ll probably be this evening when he does his rounds, so I’m gonna go pack a bag before we take you home. I figured Evan wouldn’t mind keeping you company while I’m gone. Maybe you guys can gossip. Talk about all the hot celebrities or your crushes or you know.” Luke winked at his best friend before disappearing out the door.

               Delirious’ cheeks flushed pink as soon as Luke had said crushes. He knew what the bearded man was alluding to. The bastard.

               “Uh, what did he mean?” Evan cocked his head, curiosity getting the better of him. Obviously Luke had meant something in particular. You don’t just say something like that without meaning _something_.

               Delirious sighed, burying his face in his teddy bear’s belly. “I have a crush on you.” He mumbled, almost incoherently.

               “What?” Evan leaned forward so that he could hear better.

               Delirious dropped the bear with a sigh, his face burning up from how embarrassed he was. “I have a crush on you.” He said so quickly that all the words ran together, but Evan had heard him this time.

               Evan’s cheeks blushed pink as well, and he sat with his mouth open, staring at Delirious for a few moments before answering, “I have a crush on you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment we've all been waiting for! Evan feels the same way!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Delirious now know about their shared romantic feelings towards each other. Delirious heads home from the hospital to have a fun sleepover with his two best friends, but heading home isn't as happy as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it doesn't flow too well. Half of it was written before I took a break, and the other half was written when I came back.

               Delirious stared at Evan in stunned silence for what seemed like forever before a smile slowly spread across his face.

               Evan smiled back, even bigger than Delirious.

               “So you really like me back?” Delirious tilted his head, grinning widely.

               “Yeah.” Evan looked away, aware that his blush was getting deeper. “I’ve liked you for a while now.”

               “You’re not just saying that ‘cause Luke told you to, are you? He’s known about my crush on you forever.” Delirious giggled nervously.

               “Del, come on. I wouldn’t do that. Why didn’t you just tell me?” Evan reached forward to set his coffee down and grab Delirious’ hand.

               “I was afraid of ruining our friendship… Hey, wait! Why didn’t _you_ just tell _me_?” Delirious fired back, jokingly of course.

               “I was so nervous of ruining what we had and losing you forever and never being able to be around you even as a friend and—“

               Evan was cut off as Delirious pressed a kiss to his lips.

               Evan’s eyes widened and he felt like his world began to spin.  It seemed as though the air sparked with electricity around them. The feeling of Delirious’ lips on his made him breathless, but not the normal kind of breathless, breathless like he had gotten the air knocked out of him with a punch to the chest.

               Delirious shut his eyes as he kissed Evan, trying not to worry about what consequences might come from this and trying to just live in the moment. For him, he felt like time had slowed down and came to a stop when their lips met. The whole world ceased to exist and it was just him and Evan. It felt so unreal.

               That’s when Delirious’ heart monitor started going off.

               He pulled back in embarrassment and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Oops.” He laughed nervously as nurses came rushing into his room. “I’m fine, it’s fine, I swear. I just got a little too excited is all.” He tried to explain, but the nurses insisted on checking him over. Once they were satisfied that he was indeed fine and his heartrate had returned to normal, they left the room, leaving him and Evan alone once again.

               “Del, I can’t believe—“

               “Shut it, Ev. We don’t mention this ever again… especially not to Luke or I’ll never live it down.” Delirious’ hid behind his teddy bear to hide the blush on his cheeks.

               “Awh, come on! It was really cute!” Evan laughed, nudging him gently.

               Delirious rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Evan just as Luke walked back through the door. “Hey, guys, what’d I miss?”

               “Ah, not much.” Evan shrugged, casting a sideways smirk at Delirious.

               “Yeah, not too much happened. Just kinda waited for you to get back. Hoping that the doc comes by soon ‘cause I wanna go home.”

               Luke nodded. “He’ll be here soon enough and then… sleepover at your house!” He grinned, giving Delirious a high five. “We can play videogames all night since we’re adults and can do whatever the hell we want. Or, you know, whatever you want to do.” He added on, just in case Delirious wanted to watch a movie or go to sleep right away instead.

               “Nah, videogames sound good.” Delirious smiled, giving Luke a knuckle bump while giggling.

               Evan cleared his throat, hoping that maybe they’d get the hint and invite him to the sleepover as well, or he’d honestly be a little jealous.

               “Evan, you staying over, too?” Luke asked, obviously getting Evan’s hint. “I thought you knew you were automatically invited.”

               “Oh, well, yeah, I’d like to. If that’s okay.” Evan added the last part just to make sure that they weren’t inviting him just so they didn’t hurt his feelings.

               “Hell yeah! What’s better than two gamers and a late night? Three gamers and a late night!” Luke laughed and Delirious joined him.

               “I better get going to pack my bag since my house is like an hour from here…” Evan stood up with a sigh.

               “If you don’t care you can borrow some of my clothes.” Delirious shrugged. “Then you don’t have to make the long drive.”

               “Oh, cool. Sounds good.” Evan smiled, but still headed towards the door. “I’ll be back. I need a bathroom break from all that coffee.”

               As soon as he left the room and shut the door, Delirious grabbed Luke’s arm excitedly. “He likes me back! I kissed him, Luke! It was wonderful! Except for that I couldn’t stop thinking about how upset Michael would’ve been if he would’ve seen it…” Delirious’ smile soon faded and turned into a frown.

               “Del, listen to me. Michael would’ve wanted you to move on and be happy, okay? He wouldn’t want you to be lonely for the rest of your life. I say that if Evan likes you back, you run with it. I’ll be cheering you on from the side. I’ve got a couple of plans to get you guys closer tonight, too.” Luke winked before bringing Delirious’ hand to his mouth and giving it a gentle kiss.

               “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, this is good. Evan likes me. Evan likes me, Luke.” He grinned widely, giggling like a schoolgirl.

               “Of course he likes you, bud. What’s not to like? You’re a beautiful person and—“ Luke was cut off as Delirious covered his mouth with his hand, giggling. “Stop it, you’re gonna make me blush.”

               Luke rolled his eyes but nodded. “Okay, bud. You’re just so cute is all.”

               Delirious shook his head, lightly shoving his friend. He heard a cough at the door and turned to see who it was. A doctor stood in the doorway, with Evan right behind him.

               “John.” The doctor walked in, a clipboard in his hand. “I’ll just need whoever you’ll be living with to sign this paper and then you’ll be free to go after I do a quick over and make sure you’re all good.” He handed the clipboard to Luke who offered his hand out for it. He then continued to quickly check Delirious over to make sure everything was normal.

               Meanwhile, Evan stood near the doorway, rubbing at his wrists nervously. As much as he wanted Delirious to come home, he was afraid that his friend might try to kill himself again. He didn’t know what he’d do if it actually worked next time. He shook his head to get rid of the thought just as the doctor spoke up, saying that they were free to leave.

               “Alright Del, let’s get you home. Then we’re gonna have the best sleepover ever.” Luke grabbed Delirious’ free hand, the other of which was holding his teddy bear. “Hey, Ev?”

               Evan looked up from where he was standing by the door. “Huh?”

               “I know you don’t know where Del lives so just grab your car and follow my truck. He only lives a few minutes down the road.” Luke instructed as he walked out the door with Delirious in tow, Evan following behind them.

               “Yeah, okay.” He nodded, putting his hands into his pockets. He knew that he shouldn’t be nervous about spending the night with some friends, but he couldn’t help but be. He wasn’t just nervous to be spending the night at his crush’s house, but also to be spending the night with his crush’s best friend, who was scary when angry and also very protective of Delirious. He shook his head, trying to think of the overwhelming positive that he was spending the night with some of his best friends. Thinking of it that way made it much less scary.

               While he had been immersed in his own thoughts, they had reached the parking lot, where Evan had conveniently parked near Luke’s truck when he had seen it on his way in. He got in the car and nodded to Luke who nodded back after hopping into the driver’s seat after Delirious had gotten in. Luke began to drive off to Delirious’ house, Evan following close behind.

               They drove in silence, Evan too caught up in overthinking what might happen tonight, Luke too focused on trying to figure out a way to cheer Delirious up, and Delirious too lost in his own thoughts to be bothered with reality at the time being.

               When they arrived at the house, Luke had to shake Delirious to get him to snap back to reality. “Hey, Del, we’re home.” He whispered as he shook him gently.

               “Huh? Oh.” Delirious nodded, quickly unbuckling himself and heading to the door of the house. He stood at the door as he waited for Luke to unlock it. Luckily the bearded man had keys to his house and had thought to lock it this morning in all the commotion. He opened the door and motioned for Evan and Delirious to go inside. “I’ll be right in. I gotta grab my bag outta the truck.”

               Delirious trudged inside, seeming almost unhappy to be home. His head was down and his hands were in his pants pockets.

               “You okay?” Evan tried, glancing worriedly at his friend.

               “I can’t go in my room. I made a big mess in there earlier.” Delirious’ lower lip quivered, and a small cry escaped from the back of his throat.

               “John…” Evan took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around his friend. “I’ll ask Luke to clean it up when he comes back in. And we can cuddle on the couch until then, okay?”

               Delirious nodded, letting out a shaky sigh. He kicked his shoes off and curled up on the couch, his teddy bear close to his chest. Evan sat down beside him, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I’m sorry, John.” He whispered, rubbing his friend’s back to try and comfort him. Delirious leaned into the embrace, feeling much more safe in Evan’s arms, almost like they were made for him.

               Luke walked back through the door and shot Evan a questioning glance. “His room.” He mouthed, and Luke nodded in understanding, disappearing down a hall.

               Delirious whined and Evan hugged him tighter in response. “I’m sorry this had to happen to you. You don’t deserve any of this. But… I’m here for you, I promise.” He mumbled, unsure of what to say to make his friend feel better and wishing that he could do something to make him feel better other than just hold him.

               Delirious sniffled and glanced up at Evan, his eyes suddenly going wide and seeming as though they were somewhere far away.

               “Del?” Evan tried, panic rising in his chest.

               Delirious tilted his head and reached out a shaky hand. “Michael?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the big long stretch of time where I didn't update. Some stuff happened in my life and I went through a depression patch which I'm just now starting to come out of. Love you guys and sorry again


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke and Evan are trying their hardest to help Delirious stay sane so he doesn't have to go to the hospital again. Both are having a hard time coping with their friend's sadness and not being able to cure him. Delirious is just trying his hardest to hold on and live life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life got very busy. Idk if anyone's even still following this story, but here's an update, finally. It's a little rough cuz I haven't written in awhile and I'm rusty. Hope you enjoy!

"Hey, Del. It's me, Evan. I'm Evan." Evan tried, the corners of his lips turning down in a frown. 

"Michael." Delirious smiled weakly, staring past Evan. 

Evan turned his head to look, seeing nothing there. "Delirious, come on. John, please." His voice shook. He leaned forward to kiss Delirious' forehead. "Please." 

"Huh?" Delirious shook his head, a confused look coming over his face. 

Evan took a moment to study the other's face. Delirious looked genuinely confused. At least the life had come back to his eyes and he didn't look so far away anymore. "Nothing, bud, just making sure you're okay." He offered a forced smile, for the other's sake. 

"Oh, okay. I'm okay." Delirious replied, but Evan wasn't so convinced. 

They sat in silence after that for what seemed like forever, Delirious somewhere deep in his mind, and Evan worrying about him, before Luke came back into the room. "Del, my dear, it's all cleaned up now. I brought you out some clothes to change into, thought we could all sit down at the kitchen table, grab something to eat. Ya know." He handed the clothes to his friend, smiling tiredly at him. 

"Yeah, okay. I'll change. I'll meet you in the kitchen." Delirious got up and headed to the bathroom right down the hall from the living room to change. 

Evan stood up and followed after Luke into the kitchen, a worried expression on his face. "Luke, he like, I dunno, saw Michael? We were sitting on the couch and he said his name and started reaching for him, but no one was there. Does that happen a lot?" Evan rubbed at the back of his neck. "I just want to know in case it happens again. 'Cause honestly it scared me a little." He pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. 

"Sometimes he sees him. You just gotta be gentle with him and try to bring him back. Give him a pat on the back, say his name a couple times. Ease him back to reality." Luke answered, pulling stuff out of the fridge to make sandwiches. He didn't have much else in him at that point. He'd never tell Delirious or Evan, but he was an exhausted wreck right now. If he wasn't so careful with Delirious, the poor guy would only get worse, then they'd take him away. He couldn't handle that. He'd just have to walk a very thin line and try his hardest to keep his best friend content. Losing his best friend and not being able to help him... Luke couldn't handle that again. Not again. 

Delirious slowly walked into the kitchen before plopping down onto a chair that was already pulled out from the morning. He had changed into a baggy t shirt, one that Evan could only assume was Luke's. He also wore a pair of sweatpants that looked way too big for him. Probably Luke's as well. Honestly, it was the most relaxed and content Evan had seen him all day. 

"There you are, bud. You want a sandwich? You feel better since you changed?" Luke dropped what he was doing and turned to give Delirious his full attention. 

"I feel better, yeah, thanks for the clothes. They smell like you. They make me feel safe." Delirious smiled. "But I don't want anything to eat. You and Evan eat something. I want to cuddle on the couch with my teddy." And with that, Delirious stood up and walked off to the living room. 

"Okay, bud, we'll be in. There's a sandwich in here if you change your mind." Luke called after him, a frown on his face. His voice dropped as he added, "Damn it. He's gotta eat something. He hasn't eaten all day." He shook his head in frustration. 

"I'll take mine and go sit with him. Maybe I can convince him to share it with me." Evan stood up and grabbed a sandwich off the counter. "Thanks." He followed after Delirious. 

Luke sighed, sitting down at the table to eat his own sandwich, even though his stomach was churning with worry. He had to stay strong, for Delirious' sake. 

Evan quietly walked into the living room to join Delirious, not wanting to accidentally spook his friend. "Hey, John, I brought my food in here so I could sit with you. Wanna share? I'm not too hungry so I won't eat the whole thing." He talked softly as he went to sit on the couch with Delirious. "Oh." He looked down at Delirious, who was curled up hugging his teddy bear, fast asleep. The poor guy did have a long day. Evan sat his sandwich on the coffee table and sat by his friend's feet. "Night, Del, love you." He whispered, gently patting Delirious' leg. He swore he saw a smile flash across his friend's face as a contented sigh escaped from his lips. Evan shut his own eyes and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. If Delirious was resting now, he'd rest now, so he could be up later when Del was in case he needed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of short, but I'm trying to get back into writing. Bear with me. I'll try. I missed this story, honestly, life just got so busy. <3


End file.
